Happy 6 months of waiting to us! Actually, the past month has been so busy I have not had much time to languish in the uncertainty of our wait. But it has hit again with a vengeance today! Not only is it our 6 month mark of "official" waiting (we've been in process for almost a year)...our social worker called today to give us an update. I must confess I saw the agency name pop up on my cell (darn caller id) and my heart did a little flip...then I MADE it sink back to normalcy by telling myself...6 months, 6 months, you're going to be waiting a LOT longer than that. Well, it was just an update. She reiterated our wait time of around 18 months, but she did say that a family at our agency just received a referral for a baby after 8 months of waiting...a family at a different orphanage, but at least it was a referral. Darn update. Now I have to struggle to remember that a referral to someone else means nothing about our referral. Lucky them, but I didn't want to hear that, and then again I did.
Aaahhh...the joys of not knowing. I realized today again how much I LIKE TO KNOW. I read the ends of books before I finish them, and then I finish the book in peace and with much greater enjoyment because I know how it ends. Many people say I'm weird and breaking some sort of rule, but books were written to be enjoyed...if I enjoy them better knowing the end then I can do what I want. Unfortunately, I do not and will not know the end of this journey until I am there, and even then, life is full of uncertainties. Maybe if I learn my lesson really well now, God won't send me any more lessons in patience and giving him control instead of demanding it myself. What do you think? Yeah, I know...I'm going to need this lesson for the rest of my life. I love life...I love life...I love life. I'm going to trust God! That's my mantra today.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
A Prayer for Our Child
May you be safe and sleep soundly through the night,
May you be safe as you wake to the morning's light.
May you feel my love from so far away,
May it comfort and protect you throughout each day.
I will pray for you my little one
Until our time of waiting is done.
I will pray that the Lord keep you safe from harm,
Until the child of my heart becomes the child in my arms.
May you be safe as you wake to the morning's light.
May you feel my love from so far away,
May it comfort and protect you throughout each day.
I will pray for you my little one
Until our time of waiting is done.
I will pray that the Lord keep you safe from harm,
Until the child of my heart becomes the child in my arms.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Updates
On our adoption: Sorry to disappoint, but there are none.
On cheesy movies I've seen lately: Facing the Giants...uggh..don't even want to go there. But I can't help it...the cheese was just horrible. But then I watched the special features and saw the heart behind making it, and well, you just can't fault people for doing their best for God! Come on, Emily, come on, say something nice about the actual movie...well, maybe another day, sorry, nothing's coming today!
On taking things personally that I shouldn't: Anyone have any tips here? Because I have been run over by mac trucks lately and I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I just can't help it.
On a really fun afternoon: Botanical Gardens with my wonderful husband, daughter, and friends! Thank you, God, for nice weather today...it lifts my spirits.
On why April 3 is a great day: Happy B-day Michelle! Wish I could be there to celebrate!
On personal goals: Anyone feel like running a half marathon with me? I think I need some sort of running goal again (but NOT a marathon...never again!). And does posting on my blog mean I have to do it?...because there's always the "next year" slot for personal goals. :)
On cheesy movies I've seen lately: Facing the Giants...uggh..don't even want to go there. But I can't help it...the cheese was just horrible. But then I watched the special features and saw the heart behind making it, and well, you just can't fault people for doing their best for God! Come on, Emily, come on, say something nice about the actual movie...well, maybe another day, sorry, nothing's coming today!
On taking things personally that I shouldn't: Anyone have any tips here? Because I have been run over by mac trucks lately and I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I just can't help it.
On a really fun afternoon: Botanical Gardens with my wonderful husband, daughter, and friends! Thank you, God, for nice weather today...it lifts my spirits.
On why April 3 is a great day: Happy B-day Michelle! Wish I could be there to celebrate!
On personal goals: Anyone feel like running a half marathon with me? I think I need some sort of running goal again (but NOT a marathon...never again!). And does posting on my blog mean I have to do it?...because there's always the "next year" slot for personal goals. :)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Waiting
So I was tempted to put a number next to the title of this post, because I am absolutely sure that I will be posting many times with this title. I cannot even begin to explain my emotions surrounding the wait for our child. They are a jumble. Even now as I type this, I know I won't post immediately...just to make sure I didn't say anything crazy. I can't explain it, but if you've adopted or are adopting right now, you probably understand...I miss our child...the child we don't know yet. We are just waiting with nothing...we can't prepare a room really because we don't know exactly how old our baby will be or how old Ali will be or if we'll have to get another crib or if Ali will be in a big-girl bed. We can't buy clothes. We can't really do too much but wait and pray. We do have tentative names, but even that is tentative...we might keep our child's given name as a first name...if not, it will definitely be his or her middle name...I don't have a baby kicking around inside me, just thoughts bouncing around my head, an ache in my heart, and many, many prayers. Mainly, I just pray for our baby's first family, that when our child is born that he will have someone to hold him when he's crying, feed him when he is hungry, and smile at him when he's awake. I pray that God will protect him and his family. I pray that whatever situation causes him to become ours will somehow work for the glory of God. My heart breaks for whatever reason will require our child to end up in an orphanage waiting to be adopted. See...paradox...I don't really want our wait to be "short" because that means tragedy for someone else. But, at the same time, if our child is out there waiting right this minute, I DO so want to have him with us now. Basically, let's just say that for now, I'm trying, trying, trying to be patient, to pray, to love every day as it comes, to give thanks to God, to serve others, to grow in love...and as I am doing that, every second I carry thoughts and prayers for our baby...just as I carried Ali with me everywhere before she was born.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Happy Valentine's Day
Funny pic of Ali with her friend, Owen. Owen stayed with us for a day and Ali is in LOVE with him! So cute. She wanted to hold his hand all day long. Owen is a very sweet friend. He does a really good job playing with Ali.
Don't you love the hair? It was REALLY windy.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Friendship
I have been incredibly grateful these past few weeks for so many dear friends in my life. Daily, I thank God for all of you. Thank you so much for your prayers and your friendship.
Another praise I have is that I have been able to continue a close friendship with Lauren, my roomie from college. I truly wish I could post pictures of our adventures together...from dressing up crazy to go to a movie, to acting out a funeral (don't ask), to playing pranks on people (remember the poop log?), swimming, to being in each other's weddings...we've seen each other through so many transitions. And now we've each been there for each other as we've become mommies. What an adventure that is, right? Here's a picture of the cutest little boy, Caleb, with Aliana. Ali is not quite sure what to think. And a picture of me holding Caleb. (Doesn't Lauren look amazing for having just had a baby?) We love you, Paul, Lauren, and little Caleb!
Another praise I have is that I have been able to continue a close friendship with Lauren, my roomie from college. I truly wish I could post pictures of our adventures together...from dressing up crazy to go to a movie, to acting out a funeral (don't ask), to playing pranks on people (remember the poop log?), swimming, to being in each other's weddings...we've seen each other through so many transitions. And now we've each been there for each other as we've become mommies. What an adventure that is, right? Here's a picture of the cutest little boy, Caleb, with Aliana. Ali is not quite sure what to think. And a picture of me holding Caleb. (Doesn't Lauren look amazing for having just had a baby?) We love you, Paul, Lauren, and little Caleb!
Friday, January 23, 2009
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