Happy 6 months of waiting to us! Actually, the past month has been so busy I have not had much time to languish in the uncertainty of our wait. But it has hit again with a vengeance today! Not only is it our 6 month mark of "official" waiting (we've been in process for almost a year)...our social worker called today to give us an update. I must confess I saw the agency name pop up on my cell (darn caller id) and my heart did a little flip...then I MADE it sink back to normalcy by telling myself...6 months, 6 months, you're going to be waiting a LOT longer than that. Well, it was just an update. She reiterated our wait time of around 18 months, but she did say that a family at our agency just received a referral for a baby after 8 months of waiting...a family at a different orphanage, but at least it was a referral. Darn update. Now I have to struggle to remember that a referral to someone else means nothing about our referral. Lucky them, but I didn't want to hear that, and then again I did.
Aaahhh...the joys of not knowing. I realized today again how much I LIKE TO KNOW. I read the ends of books before I finish them, and then I finish the book in peace and with much greater enjoyment because I know how it ends. Many people say I'm weird and breaking some sort of rule, but books were written to be enjoyed...if I enjoy them better knowing the end then I can do what I want. Unfortunately, I do not and will not know the end of this journey until I am there, and even then, life is full of uncertainties. Maybe if I learn my lesson really well now, God won't send me any more lessons in patience and giving him control instead of demanding it myself. What do you think? Yeah, I know...I'm going to need this lesson for the rest of my life. I love life...I love life...I love life. I'm going to trust God! That's my mantra today.
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2 comments:
I had to LAUGH at your post as I am exactly the same. I always read the end of books. I don't like to waste my time with a book and get emotionally involved if the ending is lousy. So speaking as someone with a very similar mind set..... I know how hard being on that side of waiting in this adoption game. But if you feel called by God to this then know that all the waiting will literally feel as if it didn't happen when you have them. I am not just saying that. I heard people say that before we got the boys and I thought they were crazy. But seriously I can't remember the wait time or the frustration. All I know is the peace that God was in charge all along and the joy of being with these boys. Soon you will have a little one in your arms and these 6...12...18 months will not even touch your thoughts. My advice is make a list of things that would be hard to do with TWO kids and do them now. Also with adoption you can't really get babysitters for a awhile so make sure to take advantage of going out just you and Pete. I am always here if you need to vent. I have been there!!!!
Emily,
What I realized last week as I was waiting for my mom to decide to go to Heaven :) is that I had NO CONTROL. That's always the hardest part for me. It sounds as if that is part of your struggle too. So I understand that part.
Praying with you guys.
Love,
Anita
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