Wednesday, May 13, 2009

May 13th = 6 months

Happy 6 months of waiting to us! Actually, the past month has been so busy I have not had much time to languish in the uncertainty of our wait. But it has hit again with a vengeance today! Not only is it our 6 month mark of "official" waiting (we've been in process for almost a year)...our social worker called today to give us an update. I must confess I saw the agency name pop up on my cell (darn caller id) and my heart did a little flip...then I MADE it sink back to normalcy by telling myself...6 months, 6 months, you're going to be waiting a LOT longer than that. Well, it was just an update. She reiterated our wait time of around 18 months, but she did say that a family at our agency just received a referral for a baby after 8 months of waiting...a family at a different orphanage, but at least it was a referral. Darn update. Now I have to struggle to remember that a referral to someone else means nothing about our referral. Lucky them, but I didn't want to hear that, and then again I did.

Aaahhh...the joys of not knowing. I realized today again how much I LIKE TO KNOW. I read the ends of books before I finish them, and then I finish the book in peace and with much greater enjoyment because I know how it ends. Many people say I'm weird and breaking some sort of rule, but books were written to be enjoyed...if I enjoy them better knowing the end then I can do what I want. Unfortunately, I do not and will not know the end of this journey until I am there, and even then, life is full of uncertainties. Maybe if I learn my lesson really well now, God won't send me any more lessons in patience and giving him control instead of demanding it myself. What do you think? Yeah, I know...I'm going to need this lesson for the rest of my life. I love life...I love life...I love life. I'm going to trust God! That's my mantra today.