Easter

Noticing

So, I've had a few conversations with people who wonder whether or not young kids should be taught explicitly about race...and I think it's mostly a white privilege to have to wonder about that. In the reading I've done about transracial adoption and anti-racist parenting/living, it's hugely important to talk about race and differences from the beginning. Ignoring does more harm than good. It's been interesting the past few weeks because Ali has been noticing colors more in her environment. And while we talk about colors and skin-colors and how beautiful all the skin colors in our family are, she hasn't really cared before. But now, she loves pointing out that Ava's skin is brown and Ava has black hair. The funny thing is Ali was saying she had white skin...so I had to correct that. I know, I know, not like my girls will understand the difference between a racial label (like black and white) and actual skin color for a while, but I want both of them to at least be able to describe each other accurately now so that we can have that abstract conversation about societal labels later on in their lives. So, I'm teaching Ali her skin is peach or sandy tan. She's likes saying it's peach. And she loves comparing skin tones in books, which leads me to the following book suggestions...some will be for later (a little bit too long for a 2 year old), but I highly recommend them, for all families, regardless of the make-up of your family.

All The Colors We Are (bonus that it's a bilingual book) by Katie Kissinger
The Skin You Live In (Ali LOVES this one) by Michael Tyler
Let's Talk About Race by Julius Lester

Gag Me!!!!!

I'm sorry if you agree with this link, don't take offense to the throw up in my mouth after reading it...I just definitely DO NOT agree with it. I'm researching right now for a series of posts I'm planning on doing about my personal views of women's roles in church, home, life in general...I've had some really funny/frustrating conversations lately that make me really want to do these posts. :) Even though in a few months I will be kicking it old school and staying home, I'm NOT staying home because I believe it is a Biblical mandate...more on that later. (I'm actually kind of reluctant about staying home b/c I really, really disagree that it is a "thou shalt" for women, but my life is about to fit the stereotype of those who do believe it is a "thou shalt.") Ok...enough for now. Read the link. And if you really want to laugh and don't have much time, scroll down to the "What's a Christian Mother To Do All Day?" section where it gives 42 suggestions...I laughed out loud!

Should a Christian Mother Work Outside the Home?

Interesting Link

Here's a link to a woman's blog called "Rage Against the Minivan." Her blog is great; I love reading it, so if you're looking for some more reading material, check her out. But this post in particular just broke my heart...and she expressed so eloquently why we should ALL be talking to our kids about race, regardless of whether we're an interracial family or not!

Little Bigots at Basketball

Defiance

My daughter, Ali, is STRONG WILLED...and I know, I know, I have no one to blame but myself...but oh my goodness! You'd think that as strong-willed as I am she wouldn't stand a chance, but it's almost as if it's her full time job to come up with battle plans against which I don't stand a chance. Seriously. I have a million stories about this...(don't EVER tell me you can train a child to sleep if you don't happen to parent a strong-willed child)...but we won't go with a sleep story...how about an "every time I'm in a parking lot" story?

Ali HATES having to hold my hand to cross streets, so if I'm not lucky enough to find a spot that does not require crossing the street, I either have to:

a. get out the stroller and strap her in it (which might seem like the simplest solution, but some places we go have no place to store a stroller, we won't need it while we're there, etc.)

b. get stuck holding Ava, diaper bag (sometimes 2), purse, anything else we need, and clutching Ali's hand like her life depends on it (which it does) sometimes in the middle of the street b/c she refuses to budge, I can't pick her up, and I can't let go of her hand b/c she will dash into the street. Last Sunday at church, an older lady came up to help us, sometimes its a teen I work with, sometimes a stranger who then proceeds to give me UNWANTED parenting advice. Thank you to the lady who glibly told me maybe I need to change my routine! That little piece of advice helped SO MUCH (not)! But I did appreciate the older lady who encouraged me by telling me that she had one like Ali who's now grown and flies F-18's or some such jet (can't remember the exact letter-numeral combo)...uh, not sure I want Ali to go from peril crossing the street to peril in the skies, but I do want her to turn her strong will toward helping others, that's for sure! I guess I just appreciated the lack of judgment from her...she got it.

So all I can do is pray...pray that I will be patient, wise and strong. Pray that Ali's defiance will be turned to defiance at things that make God angry, things that need to be changed in our world, things that harm people, that she will take that strong will and apply it to doing God's will. Found this prayer the other day, and it's perfect:

"May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace." A Franciscan Benediction

Celebrating Ava

Our precious daughter is one now...this was my first birthday celebration with her, and what a joy it was. We're stretching it out...from Sunday to Saturday! I walked into her room on the morning of her first birthday and smiled at her smile, hugged her and kissed her and wanted to cry! What a blessing she is to our family. I wasn't there at her birth, and I wanted to cry for her first mom...the mother who gave her life. I kissed her a million times on Sunday for her first mom, and I know I will do that all her life.

L,

I prayed for you on Sunday, like I do most days...but especially on Sunday.
I don't know if you cried that day, but I want you to know that we cherish you.
We pray for you.
The joy I feel is all mixed up in the sorrow I imagine you will feel your whole life.
I just want you to know that I love, love, love Ava Manuela, our precious treasure.
I honor you this week and always.

A Good Day

That's what today was.

As I stepped onto the elliptical machine at the YMCA,

and my children played (at least somewhat) happily in the Child Watch center,

I had to literally choke back tears of joy...

That I could again exercise to something other than workout DVDs hoping my kids didn't wake up in the middle of said workout DVDs...

That I wasn't walking the same 2 mile stretch of sidewalk in our neighborhood pushing the girls in a stroller while they fight/cry/whine...

I love you YMCA.

I caught up on actually listening to some music.

Derek Webb, to be specific (I know, I'm behind!)...

And the lyrics to one of his songs (all of which I loved, BTW, you might see a few other lyrics pop up in the next few weeks) nearly made me laugh out loud...

From "A King & A Kingdom" by Derek Webb

there are two great lies that i’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him

my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a king & a kingdom

What a good day!!!