Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Rest
Today I almost (okay, I did) lose it several times (okay, really more like at least 100 times)...
I changed the poopy diapers of THREE kids still wearing those darn things.
I cleaned off the disgusting high chair at least 5 times. (I really want to take it outside and power wash it. Like, multiple times, people. Seriously, of all things baby, I hate the high chair the most. The crusted on food, the cracks full of crumbs, the constant stickiness...)
I listened to and forced myself to deal with multiple temper tantrums.
I walked away for a second, a second! and turned around to find out that Ava has figured out how to climb onto our kitchen counter...she pulls up with an above average grip, uses her feet as traction on the cabinets and then gets a knee up onto the counter...what in the world? I need to get her in rock climbing already!!! (Now, how to baby proof kitchen counters????)
I fed, clothed, played with, read to, hugged, kissed, timed-out (is that a word), fed some more, cuddled more, attempted a clean up of what I affectionately call toy-vomit in my house, played with more, cleaned up more...you get the idea, then called my husband to pick up frozen pizzas on the way home b/c there was no way I was going to cook and we had small group at our house tonight and more guests tomorrow night and Saturday night, I could go on, but I won't....
Aahhh...that's what I feel like right now. There's a lot going on and you know what I forgot to do today? I forgot to rely on God. I tried it myself and I FAILED. epic.mom.fail. If I could have a fail blog, today would be on it. I don't feel guilty, just stupid.
So, tomorrow (and the rest of tonight because I know there will be a wake up from deep sleep moment or two...or three):
Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
I changed the poopy diapers of THREE kids still wearing those darn things.
I cleaned off the disgusting high chair at least 5 times. (I really want to take it outside and power wash it. Like, multiple times, people. Seriously, of all things baby, I hate the high chair the most. The crusted on food, the cracks full of crumbs, the constant stickiness...)
I listened to and forced myself to deal with multiple temper tantrums.
I walked away for a second, a second! and turned around to find out that Ava has figured out how to climb onto our kitchen counter...she pulls up with an above average grip, uses her feet as traction on the cabinets and then gets a knee up onto the counter...what in the world? I need to get her in rock climbing already!!! (Now, how to baby proof kitchen counters????)
I fed, clothed, played with, read to, hugged, kissed, timed-out (is that a word), fed some more, cuddled more, attempted a clean up of what I affectionately call toy-vomit in my house, played with more, cleaned up more...you get the idea, then called my husband to pick up frozen pizzas on the way home b/c there was no way I was going to cook and we had small group at our house tonight and more guests tomorrow night and Saturday night, I could go on, but I won't....
Aahhh...that's what I feel like right now. There's a lot going on and you know what I forgot to do today? I forgot to rely on God. I tried it myself and I FAILED. epic.mom.fail. If I could have a fail blog, today would be on it. I don't feel guilty, just stupid.
So, tomorrow (and the rest of tonight because I know there will be a wake up from deep sleep moment or two...or three):
Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Emotions
November is National Adoption Month...and I could write my own thoughts down, but some really smart, cool people who I want to be when I grow up have already written very eloquently about so many issues. Here is just one link to a post about Honoring First Families. Please read it if you're interested at all in adoption related issues. I think she does a great job with some tough realities.
Honestly, these past four months holding and cuddling Kylah have made me so emotional in ways I wasn't with Ali, because I have the beyond-words-privilege of being Ava's mommy. I missed her first 5 months, but her first mom is missing her life...for a myriad of reasons of which I know only a very, very few. I think and pray for her everyday, and I pray that Ava will know how much I love her as my daughter and how much I honor and respect her birth-mom. I trust in God's plan for all of our lives and I know He is powerful to redeem. What I pray is that Ava will find her identity first and foremost in Jesus Christ, that she will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is loved in this family, and that if she someday desires, she will also have an opportunity to meet her birth-family, if that's important to her. But if she doesn't meet them on this earth, I pray daily that God is redeeming their hearts and souls and that we will all meet in heaven with a celebration of recognition and joy at what God has done.
Honestly, these past four months holding and cuddling Kylah have made me so emotional in ways I wasn't with Ali, because I have the beyond-words-privilege of being Ava's mommy. I missed her first 5 months, but her first mom is missing her life...for a myriad of reasons of which I know only a very, very few. I think and pray for her everyday, and I pray that Ava will know how much I love her as my daughter and how much I honor and respect her birth-mom. I trust in God's plan for all of our lives and I know He is powerful to redeem. What I pray is that Ava will find her identity first and foremost in Jesus Christ, that she will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is loved in this family, and that if she someday desires, she will also have an opportunity to meet her birth-family, if that's important to her. But if she doesn't meet them on this earth, I pray daily that God is redeeming their hearts and souls and that we will all meet in heaven with a celebration of recognition and joy at what God has done.
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