Here's a link to a woman's blog called "Rage Against the Minivan." Her blog is great; I love reading it, so if you're looking for some more reading material, check her out. But this post in particular just broke my heart...and she expressed so eloquently why we should ALL be talking to our kids about race, regardless of whether we're an interracial family or not!
Little Bigots at Basketball
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Defiance
My daughter, Ali, is STRONG WILLED...and I know, I know, I have no one to blame but myself...but oh my goodness! You'd think that as strong-willed as I am she wouldn't stand a chance, but it's almost as if it's her full time job to come up with battle plans against which I don't stand a chance. Seriously. I have a million stories about this...(don't EVER tell me you can train a child to sleep if you don't happen to parent a strong-willed child)...but we won't go with a sleep story...how about an "every time I'm in a parking lot" story?
Ali HATES having to hold my hand to cross streets, so if I'm not lucky enough to find a spot that does not require crossing the street, I either have to:
a. get out the stroller and strap her in it (which might seem like the simplest solution, but some places we go have no place to store a stroller, we won't need it while we're there, etc.)
b. get stuck holding Ava, diaper bag (sometimes 2), purse, anything else we need, and clutching Ali's hand like her life depends on it (which it does) sometimes in the middle of the street b/c she refuses to budge, I can't pick her up, and I can't let go of her hand b/c she will dash into the street. Last Sunday at church, an older lady came up to help us, sometimes its a teen I work with, sometimes a stranger who then proceeds to give me UNWANTED parenting advice. Thank you to the lady who glibly told me maybe I need to change my routine! That little piece of advice helped SO MUCH (not)! But I did appreciate the older lady who encouraged me by telling me that she had one like Ali who's now grown and flies F-18's or some such jet (can't remember the exact letter-numeral combo)...uh, not sure I want Ali to go from peril crossing the street to peril in the skies, but I do want her to turn her strong will toward helping others, that's for sure! I guess I just appreciated the lack of judgment from her...she got it.
So all I can do is pray...pray that I will be patient, wise and strong. Pray that Ali's defiance will be turned to defiance at things that make God angry, things that need to be changed in our world, things that harm people, that she will take that strong will and apply it to doing God's will. Found this prayer the other day, and it's perfect:
"May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace." A Franciscan Benediction
Ali HATES having to hold my hand to cross streets, so if I'm not lucky enough to find a spot that does not require crossing the street, I either have to:
a. get out the stroller and strap her in it (which might seem like the simplest solution, but some places we go have no place to store a stroller, we won't need it while we're there, etc.)
b. get stuck holding Ava, diaper bag (sometimes 2), purse, anything else we need, and clutching Ali's hand like her life depends on it (which it does) sometimes in the middle of the street b/c she refuses to budge, I can't pick her up, and I can't let go of her hand b/c she will dash into the street. Last Sunday at church, an older lady came up to help us, sometimes its a teen I work with, sometimes a stranger who then proceeds to give me UNWANTED parenting advice. Thank you to the lady who glibly told me maybe I need to change my routine! That little piece of advice helped SO MUCH (not)! But I did appreciate the older lady who encouraged me by telling me that she had one like Ali who's now grown and flies F-18's or some such jet (can't remember the exact letter-numeral combo)...uh, not sure I want Ali to go from peril crossing the street to peril in the skies, but I do want her to turn her strong will toward helping others, that's for sure! I guess I just appreciated the lack of judgment from her...she got it.
So all I can do is pray...pray that I will be patient, wise and strong. Pray that Ali's defiance will be turned to defiance at things that make God angry, things that need to be changed in our world, things that harm people, that she will take that strong will and apply it to doing God's will. Found this prayer the other day, and it's perfect:
"May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace." A Franciscan Benediction
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Celebrating Ava
Our precious daughter is one now...this was my first birthday celebration with her, and what a joy it was. We're stretching it out...from Sunday to Saturday! I walked into her room on the morning of her first birthday and smiled at her smile, hugged her and kissed her and wanted to cry! What a blessing she is to our family. I wasn't there at her birth, and I wanted to cry for her first mom...the mother who gave her life. I kissed her a million times on Sunday for her first mom, and I know I will do that all her life.
L,
I prayed for you on Sunday, like I do most days...but especially on Sunday.
I don't know if you cried that day, but I want you to know that we cherish you.
We pray for you.
The joy I feel is all mixed up in the sorrow I imagine you will feel your whole life.
I just want you to know that I love, love, love Ava Manuela, our precious treasure.
I honor you this week and always.
L,
I prayed for you on Sunday, like I do most days...but especially on Sunday.
I don't know if you cried that day, but I want you to know that we cherish you.
We pray for you.
The joy I feel is all mixed up in the sorrow I imagine you will feel your whole life.
I just want you to know that I love, love, love Ava Manuela, our precious treasure.
I honor you this week and always.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
A Good Day
That's what today was.
As I stepped onto the elliptical machine at the YMCA,
and my children played (at least somewhat) happily in the Child Watch center,
I had to literally choke back tears of joy...
That I could again exercise to something other than workout DVDs hoping my kids didn't wake up in the middle of said workout DVDs...
That I wasn't walking the same 2 mile stretch of sidewalk in our neighborhood pushing the girls in a stroller while they fight/cry/whine...
I love you YMCA.
I caught up on actually listening to some music.
Derek Webb, to be specific (I know, I'm behind!)...
And the lyrics to one of his songs (all of which I loved, BTW, you might see a few other lyrics pop up in the next few weeks) nearly made me laugh out loud...
From "A King & A Kingdom" by Derek Webb
there are two great lies that i’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him
my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a king & a kingdom
What a good day!!!
As I stepped onto the elliptical machine at the YMCA,
and my children played (at least somewhat) happily in the Child Watch center,
I had to literally choke back tears of joy...
That I could again exercise to something other than workout DVDs hoping my kids didn't wake up in the middle of said workout DVDs...
That I wasn't walking the same 2 mile stretch of sidewalk in our neighborhood pushing the girls in a stroller while they fight/cry/whine...
I love you YMCA.
I caught up on actually listening to some music.
Derek Webb, to be specific (I know, I'm behind!)...
And the lyrics to one of his songs (all of which I loved, BTW, you might see a few other lyrics pop up in the next few weeks) nearly made me laugh out loud...
From "A King & A Kingdom" by Derek Webb
there are two great lies that i’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him
my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a king & a kingdom
What a good day!!!
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